Title is What??!

So bizarre thing happened today. Sometimes my past will pop into my mind and i'll have a twinge of pain and then lay it down at the cross and pray for peace about the present. And the pain will subside but I normally have this constant half uneasiness... kinda weird. Well today my past popped into my mind and immediately... before I could even pray anything.... it was almost like God read my heart and KNEW I was about to pray for his peace again. Because immediately after I remembered my past I was just about to ask for peace and was overwhelmed with a peace that literally staggered me! I had to sit down on the couch and just soaked myself in the peace that only God can provide the soul with.

No uneasiness. I was completely filled it seemed. I'm not sure if that is possible for a human to be COMPLETELY filled. But I felt pretty darn full of Peace. It only lasted moments. But the feeling still lingers on in my heart. I remember that peace.

Is that really the kind of peace God has to offer us through Christ? Is this really the power of Christ? A PEACE that literally can STAGGER a man?! Who has heard of a peace that can do that? I've heard of fear that staggers a man. I've heard of... pain that staggers a man. Both are things that can occur through humanly efforts. But, have you EVER heard of a PEACE that can stagger a man coming from another human? I sure haven't. I'm not talking about a peace of relief either. Just complete peace in where God has me. Knowing that he is working his wonderful will in my life in every moment of the present whether painful or content.

So not super related to this post or anything.... but I read this verse and really thought it had something to teach.
"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To HIM be the glory FOREVER"
Romans 11:33-36

Humble Yourself

So if you ever think that you can for one second live without God in your life, or you think that by your own hands you can accomplish things in your life by yourself, or maybe you are just prideful in yourself thinking about how great you are at some sport, or even how great you are at being a Christian. If you ever feel like building yourself up and most importantly that you think you can gain your own salvation by the work of your weak human hands, a good place to go is Job chapters 38-41.

GOD IS HUGE! WAY bigger than we can imagine! How scary would it be to be in Job's place? This time it is not a human questioning God but GOD is questioning HIM!! God says at one point:
 "Would you (dare) discredit my justice?
Would you (dare) condemn ME to JUSTIFY YOURSELF?!" (I imagine him laughing at job about now)
"Do you have an arm like God's
And can your voice THUNDER like his?" (Again the laugh)
"Then ADORN YOURSELF IN GLORY AND SPLENDOR" (Impossible)
"and clothe yourself in HONOR and MAJESTY!"(funny the four things God describes himself with are impossible for us.)
"UNLEASH the fury of your wrath,
look at every proud man and BRING HIM LOW" (ok... now I'm scared. I become proud all the time...)
"Look at EVERY proud man and HUMBLE HIM" (No WAY can we do this. Wow.)
"CRUSH the wicked where they stand!" ....
Job 40:8-14

Wow. I after that I feel the need to drop to my knees and praise God for his Grace through Jesus Christ. Because it is only through Christ that we can avoid his fury. That relationship with Christ that we develop as humans is the only thing that saves us from being crushed by God. So ask yourself "What do I really have to be proud of myself about?" Because I would challenge that anything you can think of is not yours but a gift from God.

For me, it used to be Singing. Then it was tennis. Then it was golf. Then it was Sam. And sometimes more than one. But God humbled me. I look back and wish he didn't have to. But he did in a very painful way. And he is not afraid to humble you too.

Humble yourself. Before he has to. I wish I would have.

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo)
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo)
And he will lift you up
Higher and higher 
And he will lift you up

Praise Him in All Things

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."
 -Psalm 107:1

"They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble.
He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love."
-Psalm 107:5-8

"Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbles. And there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing Love and his wonderful deeds for men."
Psalm 107:10-16

If there is anything that I am learning, it's that you need to give thanks in ALL things. Not just when it is easy. The absolute hardest thing to do is to praise God even when you don't feel like it or you don't feel like there is anything to praise God for.

Life sucks sometimes you know? In those times of darkness it feels like there is nothing to praise Him for. Speaking personally it feels sometimes like you are groping about the darkness in one direction and then change directions hoping that it is the right one... when in reality you are no less lost than before. It can be a pretty hopeless situation.

So what do we do? Well first off, we can stop groping about in the darkness. The sadness is still there unfortunately. Sometimes it is much better to sit down in the darkness that is your despair and make a conscious effort to praise God for what you He HAS given you. It is INCREDIBLY hard. And sometimes very painful and you feel very vulnerable. Praise Him. Wait on Him. He will give you rest from the tiresome searching and maybe even direction if it is His timing.

Sometimes I wish I could fully practice what I'm saying on this thing. I still feel like my heart is groping about in the darkness for the thing that it desires. If I could just manage to sit down and wait on God and praise Him even in my hopelessness, my heart WILL find what it truly desires. The everlasting peace that only God can give.

Call on His name, wait on Him and praise Him in all of the things He has blessed you with. God will break through the darkness and come rescue you with His everlasting peace no matter how thick your darkness may seem.

Broken and Breaking.

Well just like the title portrays, that is how I feel. How long does someone need to suffer before God will reveal his goodness in their brokenness? That is the question I have been asking myself for about a week. Every day it feels like the bottom has been reached but I wake up the next morning to find another low. I submit myself to His Will time and time again and he gives me peace. But then in my foolishness I take my will right back into my own hands. I am broken before God. And yet it seems He breaks me still even in my brokenness. And boy does it hurt. To be broken before God is incredibly painful. Please. Please end it soon Lord. Bring me peace in you and turn my ashes into beauty.
 I am trying to praise Him in the hurricane that is my life at present, but I can't seem to. My mind turns to the past and it's difficult for me to feel His forgiveness. But even in my pitiful humanly doubt, I praise Him for His forgiveness for the mistakes that I have made in the past. I may not feel His love and peace with where He has me right now, but I know that He is by my side. He feels miles away from me, but in fact, He has been here the whole time.

I am broken before God and yet still breaking. When will the healing begin? I trust you Lord, even in my despair, I trust you.

Lay it down.

Wowzers. How many times will it take? It has honestly only been one day and yet I feel like I have tried to take control of my situation and lay it back down at the feet of Christ 50 times! All in one day! It's bizarre. I catch myself in the very early stages of asking myself what could have been or what could be instead of focusing my mind on the here and now of what God wants with my life. Because from my limited knowledge, It seems that by focusing on the day by day tasks that God wants you to focus on now, will naturally lead you to where he wants you in the future. So why would I want to fantasize about how grandiose my future could be with whom? God already has it planned out where my path will lead. So as long as I can focus on his task for me minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, focusing my gaze on his glory every step of the way, He will naturally lead me to where He wants me to be. So may this be an encouragement to any who reads this to take your gaze off of the future. Of course there is nothing wrong with planning, but there is a difference between planning and fantasizing. Fix your gaze on God and live for his Glory in every step of the PRESENT, and he will guide you to the future that he has designed for you. So when you catch yourself fantasizing about the future such as where you will live, what you will be, and especially who you will be with, stop yourself. Lay the future down at the feet of Jesus. Let him work his perfect will in your life. Because he will. If you let it go and let him.

WW (Walk Worthy)

Isn't it interesting how we as human beings believe we have the ability to do things on our own? But let's be honest here, when you do not lay your burdens down at  the foot of Jesus Christ what happens? Invariabley the same thing. Time. And time. Again. We as humans tend to kind of mumble and bumble through our lives like a blind man walking along a path just riddled with traps. Can you picture that? No cane, no watch dog. Just pure darkness. Not knowing where the land mine is that you are about to step on, or that there is another trap for you to walk into dead ahead. You have no clue! How TERRIFYING! And even worse you KNOW that there are traps everywhere so you are in suspense! But no matter how cautious you are, you still can't see. You are inevitably going to get caught. Ah but that is where God in his awesome power come in. God see's through the darkness. And if you let him, God will take your hand and guide you along the path missing every. Single. One. Only if you let him though! If you for some bizzare reason you think "Oh thanks for the help God but I got it from here," God will reply: "Ok." Brothers and Sisters I implore you. Let God lead you through the path. Lay your burdens down at the foot of Jesus and Walk Worthy of your relationship with God.

Conflicting views of Gods Will.

Ever think about that in it's purest sense? How two people, when applied to the same thing have conflicting views of what God would want for their lives. So what happens when they meet? How is a conclusion or compromise supposed to be drawn? Does one pursue their convictions while the other remains in their own? How can one person see such an incredible amount of potential in their what thy believe while the other does not? Or maybe one sees so much potential in other things than the other person. I honestly don't have any answers. I wish I did. But I don't. All that is left is to remain in Gods will constantly seeking his glory and he will show you. Honestly sometimes it could be a tough pill to swallow. Others a scary leap of faith, and still others incredibly joyous. But in the end, all that matters is Christ. Glorifying Him with everything you do (even behind those closed doors), everything you think, and een the person you decide to be with. As long as your desire is to glorify Him, develop that personal relationship with him and show the fruits of what he plants in your heart, what else matters?