Ever get lost in your writing? I did. Guess I like talking about the Holy Spirit.

Hey all! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything. I have just been learning so much so quickly that it's been tough to just sit down and write anything! I've just needed some time to process what God has been teaching me. Well first off I have begun one of the best things that I could have done for the growth of my relationship with God. I have joined BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). In a time of my life that is full of confusion and some pain as well, nothing could have challenged me more than the book of Acts, which is what BSF happens to be studying this year.

Any-who Acts is focused mainly on the workings of the Holy Spirit in the lives of men after the resurrection and ascension of Christ. But there is SO MUCH MORE! If you were to sit down and truly study the book of acts verse by verse, chapter by chapter, you will find TONS of examples of how the Holy Spirit works in our Christian lives today! Yes I said TODAY!! The Holy Spirit LIVES in those of us who believe even NOW!

Sadly this aspect of Gods person is sometimes downplayed in the hearts of men and in some sects of Christianity. However He is just as important as God himself and Jesus Christ.

One of the men in my Fellowship group said "Many people pray to God and to Jesus, but if the Holy Spirit is the part of God that lives within us and guides us, why don't we pray to HIM directly?" What a challenge that was for me! I had never DREAMED to pray directly to the Holy Spirit for the guidance that it provides in my life or the comfort that is promised! But it never fails! He ALWAYS brings comfort when called upon. The Holy Spirit is the part of the Trinity that lives within us and guides us through our day, every day.

It was so comforting to me when I learned about the role of the Holy Spirit. He is my joy, my comfort, my strength, my confidence (It's in HIM. Not friends, not money, not women. HIM.), and my guide. Don't be afraid to call upon the Holy Spirit. He has some serious power so watch out.

Also, one of the marks of the Holy Spirit upon the disciples was the BOLDNESS given to them by the Holy Spirit. What did the one hundred and some disciples do immediately after they were baptized by the Holy spirit at pentacost!? They went out AND SPOKE THE WORD OF GOD WITH BOLDNESS! Not afraid at all of what people might say about their words! Totally fearless!! And this was back when they were KILLED for believing in Jesus Christ. So... why do I find myself bashful and hesitant to speak the word of God to people I know do not believe in Jesus? Or say they do but openly act against his teaching? I don't know... but I hope God shows me.

Scary thing is though..... Even though the Holy Spirit has all of these immense powers that we can use in the name of Jesus when we let him live in us, it is still so EASY to quench the Holy Spirit. He doesn't leave you, but the more you ignore his instruction, the less time you spend in the word and in prayer, the quieter he will get until He is completely silent. Pray that you never get to that point. The cool thing is that you can tell when he starts getting quiet, or when he is letting you know that you are not spending enough time with him. Because as he leaves you, so too will your joy that comes directly from him leave you. That in CERTAINLY noticeable. Everything that the Holy Spirit brings to you in the name of Christ will leave you.

So join me in my personal challenge for myself. Watch how you spend your time! How much time are you spending in prayer and open communication with God? I know for me it's been up and down. My desire is that I will be able to fight my human nature and spend my time glorifying him in prayer and spending time in the word. He needs to come first.

I think that that is a good place to end. Sorry if my writing isn't succinct enough for you. But the is only a fraction of what The Lord has been teaching me about who he is! I can't wait to learn more! It's so exciting to learn about the one who already know me most intimately!

Stay strong! Try praying to the Holy Spirit! Be filled with the joy, confidence and boldness that he offers!

God bless!

Holloween Illustration. ZOMBIE APPLE!!

Camera: Canon EOS 20D
Shutter: 1/50 s
Aperture: f/5.6
Exposure Setting: Manual
ISO: 800
Strobe Flash: Did Not Fire
Lens Focal Length: 64.0 mm
White Balance: Cloudy

Relief

It's early so forgive me if my thoughts are not super cohesive. :/

Well he did it. God humbled me. Again.

But I guess this one was different because for once it wasn't painful, and instead I was filled with relief and was THANKING God for humbling me.

While I was dating Sam, I used to think that I was SO ready to get married... Why? I don't know. I guess I just really enjoyed her companionship and was ready to skip these single years of my life for her friendship for the rest of my life. I wanted marriage so badly that I was blinded to what that actually entailed. I still don't know what all it involves, but thankfully God revealed to me that I am nowhere NEAR being ready. He left me asking myself, "What in the WORLD possessed me to think that I was ready to be the leader in a relationship?" I specifically remember thinking 6 months ago that If I could have married her then I would have. Now I thank God that he didn't let me. I wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. And the worst part is NEITHER of us could admit it. Totally ignoring what God would have wanted for our lives, we were pursuing something we wanted and THOUGHT we could handle. No. Way.

So instead of mourning the seemingly broken relationship with my best friend of two years, I can praise God and rejoice because I somehow found the courage to turn away from something I wanted SO badly to obey God. It was not easy; probably the hardest thing that I have ever done by far. I was only able to do it because of the courage that came from HIM.

Only God knows what things he has in store for you. It may be hard sometimes but you can follow his plan... or you can continue with what you think is best for you. But all you have to do is listen for His voice and respond. It may be hard, but God says "'For I know the plans I have for you!' Declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29:11

His plan will prosper us. Not in the worldly sense, but in his eternal sense. If we listen to his voice, our relationship with HIM will prosper. Our joy in HIM will prosper. Our love for everyone will prosper. Our love for Christ, will prosper.

Up... And Down.

Weird. I wish some confidence in the decisions I have made would last. I mean... Every time I become worried about anything I lay it down at the cross and trust Christ. However it always seems like the ease at which I can give it to Christ varies. 

Take last week. I was so confident that Christ was guiding me in the direction that he wanted. Every time I thought about my past and worried about the direction of my life it was so easy to lay it down and give it to Christ. So easy! I just felt like God was using a magnet walking along beside me holding it above me pulling up every doubt and every fear that entered my mind! And I felt His presence with me feeding me confidence that can ONLY come from him!

Well...

Why does that kind of confidence seem to waver so easily? 

It's almost felt like I have had to force it away from me. Almost like these thoughts would pop into my heart/mind and when I give it to God these thought are like gripping my heart and I am dragging them ever so slowly out of my heart to give them to God. I have to FORCE them. It is not a fun process. Kind of painful and VERY annoying.

 The thing is... I know God is good. I know that He is going to continue teaching me. I know (regardless of how I may be feeling at the moment) that God is always with me. So why does it feel so difficult sometimes? My only explanation is this - Because I am human. And as a human we need to be reminded that we need God not only in the big decisions of our life, but every day. Every minute. But the cool thing is no matter how we are feeling or whether we think He is close or not, He is always with us ready to guide us in life. All we have to do is listen.

And the best part is, God reveals His glory out of the ashes in our life! That is what we are here for anyways! His Glory. And THAT is why we can praise Him in all things. Because God reveals Himself when we trust him in the darkest times of our life.

So praise be to God!

"Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits-

Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion

who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed

he made known his ways to Moses his deeds to the people of Isreal:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse nor will he harbor his anger forever;

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him"

Psalm 103: 1-11

Title is What??!

So bizarre thing happened today. Sometimes my past will pop into my mind and i'll have a twinge of pain and then lay it down at the cross and pray for peace about the present. And the pain will subside but I normally have this constant half uneasiness... kinda weird. Well today my past popped into my mind and immediately... before I could even pray anything.... it was almost like God read my heart and KNEW I was about to pray for his peace again. Because immediately after I remembered my past I was just about to ask for peace and was overwhelmed with a peace that literally staggered me! I had to sit down on the couch and just soaked myself in the peace that only God can provide the soul with.

No uneasiness. I was completely filled it seemed. I'm not sure if that is possible for a human to be COMPLETELY filled. But I felt pretty darn full of Peace. It only lasted moments. But the feeling still lingers on in my heart. I remember that peace.

Is that really the kind of peace God has to offer us through Christ? Is this really the power of Christ? A PEACE that literally can STAGGER a man?! Who has heard of a peace that can do that? I've heard of fear that staggers a man. I've heard of... pain that staggers a man. Both are things that can occur through humanly efforts. But, have you EVER heard of a PEACE that can stagger a man coming from another human? I sure haven't. I'm not talking about a peace of relief either. Just complete peace in where God has me. Knowing that he is working his wonderful will in my life in every moment of the present whether painful or content.

So not super related to this post or anything.... but I read this verse and really thought it had something to teach.
"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To HIM be the glory FOREVER"
Romans 11:33-36

Humble Yourself

So if you ever think that you can for one second live without God in your life, or you think that by your own hands you can accomplish things in your life by yourself, or maybe you are just prideful in yourself thinking about how great you are at some sport, or even how great you are at being a Christian. If you ever feel like building yourself up and most importantly that you think you can gain your own salvation by the work of your weak human hands, a good place to go is Job chapters 38-41.

GOD IS HUGE! WAY bigger than we can imagine! How scary would it be to be in Job's place? This time it is not a human questioning God but GOD is questioning HIM!! God says at one point:
 "Would you (dare) discredit my justice?
Would you (dare) condemn ME to JUSTIFY YOURSELF?!" (I imagine him laughing at job about now)
"Do you have an arm like God's
And can your voice THUNDER like his?" (Again the laugh)
"Then ADORN YOURSELF IN GLORY AND SPLENDOR" (Impossible)
"and clothe yourself in HONOR and MAJESTY!"(funny the four things God describes himself with are impossible for us.)
"UNLEASH the fury of your wrath,
look at every proud man and BRING HIM LOW" (ok... now I'm scared. I become proud all the time...)
"Look at EVERY proud man and HUMBLE HIM" (No WAY can we do this. Wow.)
"CRUSH the wicked where they stand!" ....
Job 40:8-14

Wow. I after that I feel the need to drop to my knees and praise God for his Grace through Jesus Christ. Because it is only through Christ that we can avoid his fury. That relationship with Christ that we develop as humans is the only thing that saves us from being crushed by God. So ask yourself "What do I really have to be proud of myself about?" Because I would challenge that anything you can think of is not yours but a gift from God.

For me, it used to be Singing. Then it was tennis. Then it was golf. Then it was Sam. And sometimes more than one. But God humbled me. I look back and wish he didn't have to. But he did in a very painful way. And he is not afraid to humble you too.

Humble yourself. Before he has to. I wish I would have.

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo)
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo)
And he will lift you up
Higher and higher 
And he will lift you up

Praise Him in All Things

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."
 -Psalm 107:1

"They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble.
He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love."
-Psalm 107:5-8

"Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbles. And there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing Love and his wonderful deeds for men."
Psalm 107:10-16

If there is anything that I am learning, it's that you need to give thanks in ALL things. Not just when it is easy. The absolute hardest thing to do is to praise God even when you don't feel like it or you don't feel like there is anything to praise God for.

Life sucks sometimes you know? In those times of darkness it feels like there is nothing to praise Him for. Speaking personally it feels sometimes like you are groping about the darkness in one direction and then change directions hoping that it is the right one... when in reality you are no less lost than before. It can be a pretty hopeless situation.

So what do we do? Well first off, we can stop groping about in the darkness. The sadness is still there unfortunately. Sometimes it is much better to sit down in the darkness that is your despair and make a conscious effort to praise God for what you He HAS given you. It is INCREDIBLY hard. And sometimes very painful and you feel very vulnerable. Praise Him. Wait on Him. He will give you rest from the tiresome searching and maybe even direction if it is His timing.

Sometimes I wish I could fully practice what I'm saying on this thing. I still feel like my heart is groping about in the darkness for the thing that it desires. If I could just manage to sit down and wait on God and praise Him even in my hopelessness, my heart WILL find what it truly desires. The everlasting peace that only God can give.

Call on His name, wait on Him and praise Him in all of the things He has blessed you with. God will break through the darkness and come rescue you with His everlasting peace no matter how thick your darkness may seem.